What Is Erotic Spanking?
Erotic spanking is the arousal and sexual gratification from the act of spanking, using a hand or other spanking implement on the buttocks. It may be enjoyed by the giver, the receiver, or both.
While erotic spanking is predominant within the BDSM community, it is also enjoyed by many couples who are just kink-curious, but who don’t identify as dominant and submissive necessarily.
Erotic spanking is nothing new: “Interest in sexual gratification received from giving, receiving and witnessing spanking began to increase during the 19th century (particularly within France and the United Kingdom). – Wikipedia
Erotic spanking is enjoyed by all genders, sexual orientations, and combinations thereof. Some kinky people may even enjoy spanking themselves!
Read: BDSM Spanking: 10 Types of Spankings for Pain and Pleasure
Why Does Erotic Spanking Feel Good?
Spanking can feel good for a number of reasons. The buttocks are an erogenous zone, so stimulating them with one’s hand or a spanking tool can be very arousing.
Often just being in a spanking position, over the knee (OTK) for example, is extremely arousing. Pain also causes an endorphin rush which can be pleasurable.
The dominant here will also feel good from being in control of their sub, especially with added features such as bondage at play. The submissive may enjoy being at the dom’s mercy while being spanked.
9 Erotic Spanking Tips and Ideas
1. Obtain Consent
When you lay your hands upon another person to cause pain or pleasure or a combination of both, you must always have consent.
Some D/s couples have contracts, but most will negotiate scenes and activities before they play. It’s always best to discuss boundaries with new play partners, as well as those you know as you try out new techniques or practices related to spanking.
Read: BDSM Limits and Boundaries to Discuss
2. Ensure Spanking Safety
Spanking takes place on a spectrum. Some couples will enjoy a few light spanks before or during sex while others who are deeper into BDSM may use spanking as the main course, without engaging in penetrative sex.
You’ll want to know all you can about spanking safety, such as where is and isn’t a good place to spank, what level of force is safe, what techniques are best and where, and the hazards of using different implements. If you feel anxious about spanking, try a workshop, hire a dominatrix, or watch tutorials online.
Read: BDSM Education: How to Learn BDSM Online
3. Try Different Spanking Positions
If you think spanking will be a regular part of your repertoire, then you’ll want to try different positions, and there are many!
The sub can lie over a person’s lap or flat on the bed, kneel on all fours on a bed or on a spanking bench, be hog-tied, bend over a chair, stand against a wall or with wrists tied to bondage apparatus from the ceiling.
Read: BDSM Spanking: 6 Erotic Spanking Positions
4. Vary Your Spanking Implement
The great thing about spanking is that all you really need is a willing partner and the palm of your hand. This is great for kinky folks who like to take their show on the road, but at home you can fill up your toy trunk with all kinds of spanking tools.
You can find specialized spanking implements at sex and BDSM shops like floggers and paddles and crops and whips. Or you can use things like hair brushes, wooden spoons, spatulas, magazines, and fly swatters.
Read: Best BDSM Spanking Tools and Implements
5. Enjoy a Spanking Roleplay
Spanking is perfect for BDSM role plays with a kinky lover. With one partner taking on a dominant role and the other playing a submissive, you can both enjoy the pain and pleasure of spanking.
Some ideas for spanking role plays include professor and student, police and prisoner, stepdad and stepdaughter, Daddy Dom and Little Girl (DDLG), or Mommy Dom and Little Boy (MDLB). Have extra fun with costumes and props.
Read: 4 Over-the-Knee (OTK) Spanking Role Plays
6. Explore Spanking with BDSM
If you are a vanilla couple who is only thinking of spanking, you may soon want to go beyond kink lite with your exploration. Many BDSM enthusiasts use spanking as a form of punishment or degradation or humiliation.
Explore BDSM spanking slowly and with a trusted partner to enjoy it to its fullest. Research spanking techniques and safety protocols for BDSM play.
Read: RACK, PRICK, and Other BDSM Safety Protocols
7. Gear Up with a Spanking Bench
BDSM furniture isn’t just for BDSM dungeons or sex clubs. More and more kinky couples are investing in BDSM furniture like spanking benches to enjoy their kinks to their max.
If spanking is something you and your partner enjoy on the regular, you may think about investing in a spanking bench, which is designed with chest, forearm and leg rests, giving the spankee a comfortable position and the spanker supreme access to the object of their affection.
With the buttocks facing outward from the bench, the dominant can take a more authoritative position and spank his submissive with space to move around, in between spanks.
Read: Find the Right Spanking Bench for You
8. Spank in a Threesome
Spanking may be enough to arouse you and a partner, but often the more the merrier holds true, especially among kink lovers.
You can enjoy erotic spanking in a threesome with two doms and one sub, or one dom and two subs. You may want to put on a show for spectators to join in at a sex club. Think big!
Read: 15 Threesome Ideas for Kinky People
9. Find Spanking Partners Online
Just as there are niche dating sites to meet kinky lovers, there are also dating sites for spanking lovers to meet.
On a niche spanking dating site, you don’t need to be shy about your proclivity towards spanking or hide your spanking fetish. You can share with others who are there for the same reason. Spanking lovers unite!
Read: Spanking Dating Sites that Work
Do you practice erotic spanking? Are you giving or receiving? Do tell!
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