Do you have an unruly brat on your hands? Brat taming can be frustrating, but not without fulfilling and intimate aspects.
Having a brat means a dominant has their hands full! That’s because a brat is a unique kind of submissive, one who has a mind of their own. They are playful and love to push buttons.
The brat has a big personality and needs a lot of attention, affection, and discipline. This BDSM submissive personality type usually has a great deal of energy and need guidance, and, well, taming.
A brat needs to be tamed.
Read: Brat BDSM and the Brat Kink Explained
What Is a Brat Tamer?
I recently heard a great joke at a party with lots of kinky friends. What is a brat tamer? A dom who finds themselves with a brat.
In other words, a dominant person or BDSM lover isn’t always looking for a brat sub. But they may find themselves with one!
All jokes aside, a brat tamer is a dominant (Dom or Domme) in BDSM power exchange relationships, whose submissive is a brat. A dominant or dom takes the upper hand sexually and in lifestyle kink, and sometimes in everyday life. They have the control and the power.
There are many ways a dom’s partner can be submissive, and some submissives have a spunky personality prone to rebellion. They require a dom to brat tame them.
Read: BDSM Roles: 33 Dominant and Submissive Roles
11 Brat Taming Ideas and Tips
If you have a new brat and are figuring out how to best control and guide and tame a brat, these are some brat tamer tips you can try.
1. Consent is Essential and Ongoing
All BDSM must be consensual. It is a cornerstone ethic of BDSM and kink communities. Ethical kink starts and ends with consent.
Consent can be date specific or ongoing. That means a brat or brat taming dominant can consent to these fantasies today, and next time consent has to be discussed again. Or they can decide that they’re all in for these fantasies and activities whenever they get together (or all day, every day, depending on the type of brat and brat tamer relationship they have.)
Consent can be withdrawn at any time. Many couples have that age old safe word idea, or a gesture or noise. When that bell rings, everything stops.
Read: RACK, PRICK, and Other BDSM Safety Protocols
2. Talk and Negotiate Beforehand
How do you know who consents to what in a BDSM brat scenario? Because you talk and negotiate beforehand. You can have a BDSM contract too. Having an open heart to heart about needs, boundaries, non-negotiables, and desires always leads to better sex and relationships.
Read: BDSM Contracts and Why You Might Want One
3. Understand Your Brat’s Needs
It’s one thing to say that brats need a lot of guidance, attention, affection, play, and fun. Because every brat is different, a brat tamer can only understand their brat’s needs by discussing them!
Find out what fantasies drive your brat. Talk about what makes them a brat in the first place. Learn more about your brat’s general interests to get a fuller picture of them.
Close observation, ongoing talking, and asking straight out can help illuminate what a brat needs most so that they allow themselves to submit. That may turn out to be something like more attention or more clearly defined boundaries.
Read: BDSM Limits and Boundaries to Discuss
4. Be Consistent with Clear Boundaries
Brats value clear and consistent guidelines and boundaries. With so much energy and mischief, they enjoy teasing and bratting and being pests. They also have a lot of curiosity. They’re impulsive. You can be a brat tamer before any disobedience occurs, just by being very clear about your needs and expectations.
5. Don’t Let Your Brat Top From the Bottom
The brat will try to control and manipulate a situation or their brat tamer, straight up. They will contradict your decisions and rules if you let them.
By definition, a brat likes to test his brat tamer and that is topping from below—if you fall for it. Don’t. Your brat craves those clear guidelines, and will test you to make sure you mean them.
Read: Topping from the Bottom: What It Means
6. Introduce Submissive Poses and Positions
BDSM has submissive poses a brat tamer can use to control, guide, and relax their brat. You can train your brat to master the positions of surrender and submission.
Submissive poses are a kind of body language and hold symbolism in BDSM. But they also provide an unruly brat with a resting space for them to calm down. This means submissive positions are outstanding tools in brat taming!
Read: 23 Submissive Poses and BDSM Slave Positions
7. Is Your Brat a Little? Give Them Rules
It can help other kinky people or BDSM folks understand the whole brat and brat tamer thing if they imagine brats as littles. More like teenage littles, often, or the smart aleck or rebel archetype in films and literature.
Some brats ARE littles and regressive age play is part of your kink practice together. If so, brat taming can be as easy as giving your brat littles rules. Littles need clearly defined rules just like children or teenagers do.
Read: 11 Age Play Fetishes and Kinks
8. Wrestling Makes Great Foreplay
With so much extra energy, brats like to engage in very physical ways. Wrestling can release a lot of that energy while also serving as intimate physical contact that gets you both warmed up.
9. Bend Them Over for a Spanking if Needed
Brat taming usually involves spanking, and bending your brat over your knee is the perfect position for spanking your brat sub. Most brats crave spankings. They don’t act out to upset their dom/me, but because of the attention they need.
A spanking is a kind of impact play that fits nicely in brat roleplay, the whole brat fantasy, and littlespace.
Read: BDSM Spanking: 10 Types of Spankings for Pain and Pleasure
10. Balance Punishments with Funishments
Brat taming can be serious business, but being a brat is the opposite of serious. A brat tamer gets better results with rules and rewards and attention than with punishments.
Of course, disobedience requires punishments. But minor infractions or “poking the bear” are better served with funishments. Be playful and attentive with your brat. Find out what kind of funishments get the results you want quickly.
Read: Funishment Ideas for BDSM Subs, Brats, and Littles
11. Don’t Forget BDSM Aftercare
BDSM aftercare is an intimate time for both of you, a chance to be close while unwinding physically and psychologically from BDSM. It’s a really important part of kink that leads to bonding and adjustment.
As a brat tamer, you are responsible for active aftercare, looking after your brat and making sure they have what they need. But this aftercare time is for you too. Enjoy the denouement and closeness. It’s an important part of building trust and a strong relationship.
Read: BDSM Aftercare: What’s It All About?
Are you a dominant who has a brat who needs taming? Please share!
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