High Protocol BDSM

What Is High Protocol BDSM?

There are many definitions and discussions about what exactly is high protocol BDSM. But perhaps the best way to approach a definition is to understand that high-protocol BDSM is a ceremonial and ritualistic expression of domination and submission. High protocol BDSM is etiquette established between Master and servant.

You’ve heard of BDSM contracts or agreements. Amp up the rules, and add in a bit of ceremony, and there you have high protocol BDSM.

In a power exchange relationship between a Dominant and submissive, deciding on and enacting a set of rules and etiquette designed for the desires and needs of the Dominant and reflecting the consent of and agreement by the submissive, is high protocol BDSM.

Read: Dom and Sub: All About Dom Sub Relationships

Rules, regulations, and instructions will be in the context of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. They will be designed to regulate behavior, discussion, postures and positions, appearance and hygiene, schedules, service, sex, and other aspects of a power exchange relationship.

Perhaps it is most helpful to think of these rules and the BDSM agreement while also thinking of what it would be like if you were going to a tea ceremony where you would meet a queen, or participating in a parliamentary procedure or some kind of government award ceremony in another land.

You would be instructed on protocol in great detail, with specific rituals, positions, honorifics, phrases, symbols, and more, so that you could best serve the needs and participate in the ceremony of that particular ruler or icon.

Read: BDSM Contracts and Why You Might Want One

Is High Protocol BDSM All About 24/7 Relationships?

There’s a misconception that high protocol BDSM is its own kind of lifestyle and that it takes place 24/7. Even in 24/7 power exchange lifestyles, most Dominant and submissive lovers don’t use high protocol all the time. There are exceptions, of course.

High protocol BDSM is sometimes reserved for special occasions. It can be scheduled into routines to amplify some of them. It might be used for BDSM training. It might be used with specific kinds of play or for special events or as punishment (or reward) or any other way it fits into the desires and needs of those involved.

Read: 24/7 BDSM: Around the Clock D/s Relationships

Do All Dom and sub Arrangements Use High Protocol BDSM?

No. High protocol BDSM is a matter of taste. Some people enjoy it immensely, and some don’t enjoy it at all. Some people enjoy it sometimes. Some indulge their lover because they get something from it. A few expect high protocol BDSM all the time. And some kinky lovers have never heard of it.

As with everything else in the world of kink, there is a huge variation in taste and inclination and practice.

Read: How to Build Trust in Your Kinky Relationships

What Does a High Protocol BDSM Session Look Like?

In a high protocol BDSM session, the submissive will act in complete accordance to the needs of the Dominant, without distraction, following the pre-established agreement of etiquette and decorum. The sub will use expected honorifics to address their Dominant, and assume postures and positions that are pleasing and subservient.

For example, a sub may sit patiently at a Dom’s feet awaiting instructions to perform chores or tasks. Or they may have to ask permission to have water, tea, lunch, stand, sit, or change an outfit. BDSM high protocol times include erotic exchanges as well as daily ones.

A sub will wear an outfit pleasing to their Dom or even chosen by them, and may remove or exchange it as commanded.

A Dom may prefer silence during high protocol BDSM and use hand signals to communicate their needs to their sub.

Read: BDSM Submissives: 16 Types of Subs

Honorific or Title Use

During occasions of High Protocol BDSM, usually the sub will use a specific title or honorific, such as Sir, Daddy, Queen, etc. It may be the same title they usually use to address their superior, according to the Dom’s taste, or it may be a special honorific used specifically at times of special protocol.

Read: The BDSM Dom: 16 Types of Dominants in BDSM

Sartorial Aspects of High Protocol BDSM

High protocol BDSM involves dressing up and dressing your best, but always in line with the instructions and desires of the Dominant lover. Dress in exactly what you have been instructed to. It’s best to think of this as a special occasion like meeting a dignitary or showing up at an awards ceremony.

You want to show your respect and show off your assets and beauty in a way that is in line with the needs and tastes of your Dominant.

A submissive may spend quite a bit of time preparing for the occasion. They want to be sure their hygiene, hairstyle, manicure and pedicure are perfect, that they are soft and shaved and moisturized. Use the perfumes your Dominant prefers, and wear their favorite lingerie and outfits.

Read: Kinky BDSM Lingerie Ideas

High Protocol BDSM Postures and Positions

There are numerous BDSM positions of submission, such as kneeling, standing on tiptoe, supine, hands on head with elbows spread out, and more. Part of BDSM slave training usually centers on postures that are submissive, neutral, erotic, and preferred by the particular Dominant.

Read: 23 Submissive Poses and BDSM Slave Positions

High Protocol BDSM Commands and Hand Signals

A good submissive is usually very familiar with their Dominant’s favorite commands and preferences, and ready to enact those commands. Many couples use hand signals instead of word commands, so that those signals in sign language can be communicated in silence or from across a room.

Read: BDSM Hand Signals and When To Use Them 

Inspection

Part of the ritual for high protocol BDSM is sometimes a thorough inspection, when the Dom goes over the body, appearance, and manners of the sub in full detail. This can be about discipline and punishment, but it is also an important educational time and an experience that nurtures the submissive in a better understanding of presentation and action.

Read: 5 Domination and Submission Games to Play

Practice Run

If you’re new to protocol, or the needs and desires of the Dom have changed dramatically, a practice run for training and support can be very helpful and a great way of communicating needs and expectations. Then the sub can learn what is expected from them, and what to expect in general, before the event.

Read: BDSM Training: A Guide for Beginners

Are you in a relationship that practices high protocol BDSM? Please share!