Do you experience a surge of sexual arousal, tension, or pleasure when someone criticizes, embarrasses, or shames you in bed?
Erotic humiliation is a common experience and a key element in many BDSM kinks and fetishes. This is because humiliation is often part of a power exchange dynamic, and arguably, the pain or sadomasochism dynamic too.
While erotic humiliation can be part of all kinds of role plays, relationships, and fetishes, for some it is an actual humiliation kink. The emotion, state of mind, and physical feelings associated with humiliation are important or essential to their experience of sexual and psychological excitement, pleasure, and fulfillment.
What Is Humiliation Kink?
The humiliation kink is when someone gets off on being humiliated.
We all feel humiliation when someone embarrasses us, shames us, or makes us feel incompetent or lowly. Humiliation is often described as “feeling mortified.” It puts us in a powerless position or a state of shame.
Erotic humiliation or the humiliation kink is when someone enjoys humiliation on a sexual level in a sexual context. It is part of BDSM because of the power exchange dynamic and the subservience or submission of the humiliated party and the dominance of the one doing the humiliation.
Read: BDSM Roles: 33 Dominant and Submissive Roles
The humiliation kink is quite common and a wide range of people experience it as erotic. Some of the literature addresses the idea that erotic humiliation is a form of “mastering trauma” through consent and sexual pleasure.
In other words, there is a belief that people who have experienced abuse and humiliation seek it out in a sexual context to overcome on their own terms. This is a widespread belief about submission and masochism in general, but we know it is only a tiny part of the picture.
Read: Healing Through Sexual Role Play
Very powerful people are just as likely to enjoy the submissive roles in BDSM. People who do not have these power dynamics in their personal experiences also enjoy erotic humiliation or other forms of masochism.
Erotic Humiliation vs Degradation Play
The humiliation kink and degradation kinks are closely related and often interchangeable. Feeling degraded is a very similar emotion to feeling humiliated.
Some kink lovers use degradation play to refer to verbal and psychological tactics to insult and deride someone, such as calling someone a slut or ugly. They differentiate physical and erotic humiliation from verbal insults. Most use various humiliation kinks and degradation kinks somewhat interchangeably.
Read: All About Degradation Kink and How to Play
A Note About Consent
Of course, there are dominant lovers who get a sexual thrill from humiliating their submissive, rather than simply serving up what a submissive desires. And there are submissives who aren’t necessarily excited by humiliation who indulge a dominant’s needs. But erotic humiliation is most often about fulfilling a submissive’s need.
Either way, as with any power exchange and BDSM play, there must be full consent from all sides. There’s a big difference between mistreating someone and humiliating them in a real way, and role play or sexual fantasy. Erotic humiliation is a kink and requires full informed consent.
Read: Should Sexual Consent be Implied or Expressed?
18 Examples of Erotic Humiliation Play
1. Verbal Humiliation
Just about everyone has felt a wave of desire flood over them when their lover whispered, “You, dirty little slut.” Verbal humiliation is part of most humiliation kinks, part of the role play during a scene. Some people get off on verbal humiliation as a humiliation kink of its own. This is often called a degradation kink.
Read: Sexual Roleplay: A Guide for Roleplay Beginners
2. Cuckold / Cuckquean Humiliation
The exquisite humiliation of the cuckold or cuckquean is a common form of erotic humiliation. Cuckolding is massively popular. Just about every guy and some women get incredibly aroused at the idea that their partner is taking lovers on the side.
Read: Cuckold Dirty Talk Ideas for Hotwives
3. CFNM Humiliation (Clothed Female Naked Male)
A very specific kind of humiliation kink or femdom-submissive play is clothed female naked male. This is when the male is naked and vulnerable and the woman is fully dressed.
An important part of CFNM is the fact that this play turns the usual gender power binary upside down. Where the male has traditionally held power and objectified the female, this switches the power dynamic and leaves the naked man in a humiliated position.
Read: CFNM 101: The Clothed Female Naked Male Kink
4. Sissy Humiliation
Sissy humiliation or sissification is a femdom and male submissive power dynamic where the male is humiliated and “sissified.” He may be mocked, degraded for being unsatisfying, subjected to wearing women’s lingerie, or little girl clothes, or taken anally by a powerful femdom in a strap-on dildo.
Read: Forced Feminization and Sissification Kinks
5. Body Writing
Body writing is a form of erotic humiliation when body paint is used to write things like “filthy little whore” across someone’s body.
This can be a humiliation kink of its own or part of other erotic humiliation plays. It is something playful for folks just skimming the waters of erotic humiliation or adding a dose of degradation into other ways to play.
Read: BDSM Marking: 13 Ways to Mark Your Submissive
6. Human Furniture Play
Using a body as human furniture such as a chair or table is a form of erotic humiliation and submission.
Read: Human Furniture Fetish: Ideas for Forniphiliacs
7. Chastity Humiliation
When a dominant controls sexual access and sexual expression, including masturbation, sex together, and sex with others, it can be a form of the humiliation kink.
Read: Chastity Play: 4 Reasons It’s So Hot
8. Tease and Denial
Tease and denial is an age old dance of sex and seduction, and can be employed as a form of power and humiliation.
Read: Orgasm Denial: 8 Games and Ways to Play
9. Ruined Orgasms
When someone else controls your orgasms then ruins them, the lack of physical release can be incredibly humiliating and exciting.
A ruined orgasm is when you are just about to come or starting to come, and the orgasm is “ruined” by removing stimulation so that the orgasm is weak and unsatisfying.
Read: How to Ruin an Orgasm in the Name of Kink
10. Make Them Beg
Begging is a form of erotic humiliation that most lovers employ at some point in their play. It is incredibly exciting to beg for your desire and be denied, teased, turned away. The anticipation builds to a frenzy. The power is a rush when you are the one with the upper hand.
11. Bukkake / Facial Humiliation
Bukkake is when a group of guys all ejaculate on someone. It is a term from a practice in Japanese porn, and is often part of a humiliation kink.
Ejaculating on someone’s face traditionally suggests humiliation or dominance.
Read: Bukkake Fetish FAQ: Do Women Like Bukkake?
12. Golden Showers and Piss Play
Not everyone experiences water sports or piss play as a humiliation kink. Some enjoy the tension sensation and or the release, the warmth, the aesthetic, or the taboo. Piss play is a common fetish across many motivations. But it is also a tactic of erotic humiliation and experienced that way for many.
Read: 5 Piss Play Ideas for Kinky Lovers
13. Omorashi / Self-Wetting
This form of piss play is when someone derives pleasure from seeing that someone has peed their pants, or from wetting themselves. Because we often piss ourselves when afraid or humiliated, this version of golden showers is a form of erotic humiliation.
Read: Omorashi Fetishists Love Wetting Themselves
14. Diaper Humiliation
In adult baby diaper love (ABDL) kinks, diaper play can be part of the thrill. Diaper play is sometimes about the sensation of the fabric, feeling of wearing a diaper or wetting or soiling the diaper, or the taboo. But often it is about the erotic humiliation of the diaper.
Read: ABDL 101: Types of Adult Babies and How They Play
15. Foot and Boot Worship
A classic part of BDSM as well as foot fetishes is foot worship and boot worship. Boot blacking is a very common form of submissive service in gay leather culture.
For many people, the foot is erotic in and of itself, and foot fetishes are not inherently BDSM or submissive. However, the foot or the idea of kissing someone’s foot is a classic symbol of power and submission to many. Foot or boot worship can be part of humiliation kinks, or a humiliation kink of their own.
Read: BDSM Boot Worship and Boot Fetishes
16. Small Penis Humiliation (SPH)
Small dick humiliation is all about degrading, mocking, teasing, and belittling someone’s cock, especially making fun of its size and inability to satisfy.
Some men find it incredibly arousing to be humiliated for their insufficient virility and penis size.
Curiously, most men who get off on small penis humiliation do not have small dicks, but normal or even large-sized cocks.
Read: SPH Kink: 6 Small Penis Humiliation Ideas
17. Public Humiliation
It’s one thing to be humiliated privately and another to be humiliated in public. For some with an erotic humiliation kink, public humiliation amps up the intensity of the experience.
Read: 9 Public Sexual Roleplay Ideas
18. Puppy Play with Humiliation
Puppy play can be very playful and lighthearted, a mild form of submission or just cosplay. But some forms take on a literal interpretation of being a dog, and this could include erotic humiliation such as using a newspaper to eliminate inside or dog training.
Do you get off on erotic humiliation or embarrassment? Dare to share!
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