If you’re kinky, you may wonder what other people’s first BDSM experiences were like.
Maybe you didn’t indulge your BDSM side until you met someone in particular. Maybe you didn’t know about your submissive side right away. Or maybe you did! Everyone has a different evolution and a different first time BDSM encounter.
Let me share my first-time BDSM story first…
Smutty Study Session
I was studying at a girlfriend’s house in college, and we were snooping in her brother’s room to see if he had any booze hidden away. We found a gorgeous stash—a flogger, a blindfold, a kinky magazine. This was my very first BDSM experience.
The two of us got totally turned on and kind of tried the things out with each other in a playful way! I already knew I loved sex and found it beautiful in a wide definition—I already wanted to experiment and enjoy different lovers and expressions.
I didn’t think of myself in terms of being dominant or submissive or straight or gay. Just sexual. I loved the empowerment of trying on a new role, and it was so hot making out and bossing my friend around. That was the start of an exciting journey!
Read: What Are My Kinks? 13 Ways to Find Your Kink
If you’re like me, you wonder what other readers’ first kinky encounters were like.
We asked, and you told us!
First Time BDSM Experiences
A Walk on the Wild Side
“I read from Dan Savage or somewhere that I should just ask for what I want, so I tried with several dates to bring up my desire to wear her bra and underwear and get a spanking, and needless to say felt exposed and rejected. I was so afraid but also so horny, so I called a pro who advertised BDSM services.
My first BDSM experience was with a professional and that is probably not uncommon as an icebreaker. It felt a bit weird but to be taken seriously by someone who knew how to dominate was amazing. I am still a sissy submissive today.” – Keith, 31
Read: How to Find a Dominatrix Near You
Head Over Heels at a Fetish Party
“I was quite comfortable having nice sex with my girlfriend and really didn’t have fantasies or a browser history that anyone would consider all that kinky. I was almost 30 and went to a fetish event at a nightclub with some friends from work. It was more like a trendy kind of dance party than real fetish stuff, but I saw this vixen dressed to the nines in leather pants, a corset, and spiky boots.
Read: Where to Meet Kinky Women
My dick came to life like never before. I started flirting with her and she laughed at me, looking me up and down as if she could never bring herself to let a worm like me touch her. It was my first BDSM experience—a kind of awakening or clicking.
At first I thought I would have to leave my girlfriend to pursue this woman. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. But I loved Susan and told her the truth. She laughed, too. She told me she fantasized about dominating me but wasn’t sure what I would think. That was decades ago and I’m still her happy slave.” – Oliver, 47
Read: Slave Training Ideas: How to Train Your BDSM Slave
Kinky Educational Workshops
“My first time BDSM experience was pretty early because I was actively seeking out open-minded women who were turned on by bondage and discipline. My nature has always been confident and even bossy and that was true in bed, too.
I signed up for a bunch of lesbian workshops on kink—one was about fisting, I recall! One was about rope arts. One was about how to treat your submissive. Since these educational sessions were hands on, they were my first BDSM experiences. I joined a kinky dyke dating site after that and asked for someone who was new to BDSM but kinky as fuck.” – Hannah, 29
Read: BDSM Education: How to Learn BDSM Online
BDSM Erotica
“I didn’t know how to bring up my BDSM fantasies with women and we didn’t have online dating back then. We used tiny classified ads in newspapers to meet strangers. Otherwise, it was a girl from the bar or the mall, that kind of thing. But I had extreme BDSM fantasies from my earliest sexual feelings.
I started writing little erotic stories that went with different desires I had. A girl I was dating happened to dig them out of my desk drawer when she went in for a lighter. I was upset at first, until she looked up and said, ‘I didn’t know any one else thought about these things…’ We started to explore BDSM together. We dated for a few years, and it was wonderful.” – Arthur, 77
Read: 4 Reasons to Share Kinks Early in a New Relationship
Out of Town Spanking
“I am not proud of it because I didn’t mean to hurt my husband, but after years of vanilla sex and him not showing any interest in my fantasies, I had a clandestine affair for my first time BDSM experience.
I met a dashing gentleman while I was away on a biz trip. His first words to me were, ‘I imagine you tied up, with your lovely bottom exposed for me to smack.’ I was so excited that I begged him to do it, and he did. I started to go to Atlanta every few weeks to see him and eventually I was found out. David was disappointed that I hadn’t told him the truth about my marriage. My husband was gutted.
So I was alone for a while, but eventually I asked my office for a transfer to a new town and waded into the BDSM scene.” – Jasmine, 30
Read: 8 Tips to Find Your Kink Community
Pain Is Pleasure
“I don’t know if this counts but I was very young when I noticed that experiencing pain inexplicably ‘felt good’ at the same time as feeling pleasure. It happened if I skinned my knee or cut myself or misbehaved and got a spanking. I couldn’t really connect the dots until a lot later.
I still feel pleasure when I feel pain, in sexual and nonsexual situations alike. So my first BDSM experience wasn’t really BDSM, but I discovered this about myself very young.” – Jessica, 25
Read: BDSM Spanking: 10 Types of Spankings for Pain and Pleasure
Hot Pussy
“This first BDSM experience isn’t really anything kinky. But the first time a woman dominated the sexual encounter and demanded what she wanted, it turned me on so much more than I’d been turned on until then.
I was always afraid of sucking pussy that I wouldn’t do it right. But this girl pushed me down onto my knees with her high heel, opened her thighs, and pulled my head in by the hair, commanded me to DO IT. I literally ejaculated even though I was still zipped in my jeans.” – Mark, 28
Read: Femdom Relationships: 8 Examples
It’s not to late to share your first time BDSM experience! Drop a comment!
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