Slave training in BDSM is an important part of the master and servant or dominant and submissive power exchange relationship.
Slave training fosters clear boundaries and roles, encourages healthy communication, establishes rules, establishes trust, and helps both dom and sub fulfill their psychological and sexual needs. Slave training is a profound process that deepens intimacy and fulfillment between a couple.
Read: BDSM and Total Power Exchange Relationships
Slave training has multiple facets, methods, and processes, and it is something that builds and unfolds over time, not in a single session. Slave training is not a “quickie,” but rather a developing sensual, sexual, and emotional process.
Both dominant and submissive lovers can and should learn more about BDSM slave training through experience and exploration, through experienced couples, blogs and literature, workshops and BDSM expos.
Read: BDSM Education: How to Learn BDSM Online
How to Train a Slave
1. Have a Discussion about Boundaries
BDSM slave training and pretty much everything else in BDSM starts and ends with open communication and discussion about consent, desires, boundaries, and limits.
It’s very important to establish your expectations as a master and what you will not tolerate. It’s equally as important to understand what your slave needs and to know in advance what their limits are, what they consent to.
What both of you want and enjoy is vital information but even more important is what you don’t want, don’t enjoy, hard limits, soft limits, circumstantial limits, sexual boundaries including kink and fetish boundaries, non-negotiables, tolerance limits for pain, and psychological boundaries.
Read: BDSM Limits and Boundaries to Discuss
2. Consider a BDSM Contract
A BDSM contract is an amazing tool that can help couples communicate their expectations, needs, boundaries, limits, preferences, and desires.
BDSM means different things to different people. A power exchange relationship like dom and sub plays out in many different ways for different couples. There are so many varieties of expression in BDSM and different kinks and styles of dominance, submission, discipline, and more.
A BDSM contract helps outline expectations, boundaries, limits, roles, and needs, and it is a proactive way to provide specific consent between you both. It saves the dom/me and sub from trying to read implied consent and helps avoid any confusion about consent or expectations.
A BDSM contract can be renewed with additions, changes, and shifts in focus or needs. It is a very useful addition to BDSM slave training.
Read: BDSM Contracts and Why You Might Want One
3. Be Assertive and Communicate Clearly
Your submissive is probably not a mind reader, and expects clear communication, direction, and guidance from a master. Express your expectations clearly so that your sub is never in doubt.
It can take practice to be assertive and direct, even for a very dominant personality, in different contexts. But your slave expects clear direction and craves the structure, discipline, and guidance that your assertiveness provides to them.
Read: BDSM Training: A Guide for Beginners
4. Teach Your Slave Submissive Positions
Submissive positions are an integral aspect of slave training. An experienced submissive may be familiar with the various BDSM submissive poses already, but you can guide them to execute the submissive positions according to your preference.
Submissive poses are simply ways to position the body to show your willingness and readiness for the master’s next commands. They are also aesthetically beautiful and provide a visual delight for the dominant.
Some submissive positions are difficult to hold and give a submissive discipline. They can add to situations of humiliation or degradation by making the sub look or feel vulnerable.
There are standing and wall positions, kneeling positions, and positions on the back or all fours. Slave training in the submissive positions can be a bit like yoga mixed with BDSM.
Many dominants or couples come up with specific, personal, custom positions that are unique to their relationship or preferences.
Read: 23 Submissive Poses and BDSM Slave Positions
5. Use BDSM Hand Signals
Using BDSM hand signals is another important aspect of BDSM slave training. It is a kind of sign language with gestures and finger positions that communicate wordlessly. They are useful for communicating when the room is noisy or when you are in sight but not in hearing.
here are standard BDSM hand signals for listen, sit on floor, come here, remove your clothes, leave the room, etc. Your slave training may include personal signals that you have created together, that only you and your slave understand.
Read: BDSM Hand Signals and When To Use Them
6. Set Rules and Expectations
Some rules and expectations are outlined in BDSM contracts. You may have other rules that you need to communicate that are specific to a situation or to the current context.
Read: Tips for Negotiating Risks in BDSM Relationships
7. Give Your Slave Tasks
A submissive craves structure, guidance and instructions. Giving your slave tasks is very important in slave training. They can be tasks for cleaning, grooming, or dress that pleases you. It can be about errands or housekeeping or ways to service you sexually.
Tasks can be for the enrichment of your slave, such as taking a night course or studying, learning how to sew or fix an appliance, or other kinds of chores that teach responsibility and submission.
Read: Submissive Rules and Tasks for Subs
8. Use Praise and Reward Accordingly
A submissive craves positive affirmation as much as he craves punishment and discipline. Their desire is to please you, so it is essential in slave training that you let them know when they have pleased you! Praise your servant and give them rewards frequently and both of you will grow closer quickly.
Read: Praise Kink? Examples & 20 Praise Kink Phrases
9. Use Punishments when Necessary
Punishment is a form of communication and guidance, and it is a necessary aspect of slave training. Some slaves need less punishment than others. Some act out in order to be punished because they crave the attention or because they crave the punishment itself.
A dominant is responsible for his or her submissive’s well-being and happiness, and part of that happiness is to serve you better. Use punishment accordingly.
Read: Sexual Punishments for Your BDSM Submissive
10. Practice BDSM Aftercare
BDSM aftercare is an intimate, trusting space where the psychological and emotional bonds between dominant and submissive couples are strengthened and intimacy is really intense. Your slave (and possibly you, too) need a place to “come down” or “come back up.”
Sadomasochism can leave someone feeling vulnerable and empty. The mindset that many subs experience during or after BDSM sessions is called subspace, and it is both emotional and physiological. Hormones and endorphins are regulating. Healthy fluids and light foods can be part of BDSM aftercare, holding each other, silence or light conversation, restorative showers, rest and meditation.
Read: BDSM Aftercare: What’s It All About?
Specific Slave Training Ideas
Dress your slave.
Hand feed her.
Make him prepare lunch for you naked.
Call him a slut.
Insist he shave his entire body and keep it that way for you.
Spank her.
Demand cock worship.
Make him polish your shoes.
Forbid eye contact.
Call her out of the blue and make her masturbate to orgasm.
Brand them with BDSM branding marks.
Make him crawl on all fours.
Take control of their orgasms. Use forced orgasm, orgasm denial, ruined orgasm, or orgasm edging.
Write all over his body.
Praise him when he has pleased you.
Give her a slave anklet.
Spread their holes and stay in that position.
Use a gag.
Keep them in a cage.
Give her water in a dog bowl.
Signal a specific command.
Use the BDSM submissive positions frequently.
Ask him to clean your shoes with his tongue.
Write on a blackboard repeated admonitions.
Spank him with a flogger or crop.
Make him wear high heels or a lacy thong.
Give her a collar.
Take them outside on a leash.
Make sure she checks in at a certain time, texting from work.
Make him ask permission before any activity.
Make them prepare your bubble bath and bring fluffy towels, Champagne, and candles.
Choose the time they awake and go to sleep.
Give reading material and quiz them on it later.
Let her know exactly how to address you in public.
Are you a master training a slave? What techniques work for you?
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