What Exactly is a Handjob? Do you give good hand?
Giving a handjob, or hand job, is pretty straightforward: it means using your hand on your lover’s cock to provide sexual pleasure, usually implying stimulation to the point of ejaculation.
The handjob, not surprisingly, includes the hand, and the penis. To give someone a handjob, usually one partner wraps his or her hand around their lover’s cock and moves it up and down. They may stimulate and touch the base of the cock, the shaft, the frenulum, the head, and sometimes the testicles.
The handjob is sometimes known as “the jerk” or “the yank” and means jerking or yanking the cock with the hand until orgasm and ejaculation occur.
Read: Orgasm Control and 9 More Orgasm Kinks
The Rub and Tug
Giving a handjob is often associated with massage parlors and sex work, establishments that are referred to euphemistically as “rub and tugs.” In other words, these particular massage spaces are not for injuries, therapy, or deep tissue healing. They generally don’t offer other sexual services. The handjob climax is often referred to in this context as a “happy ending.”
Read: Should You Hire a Sex Worker?
Are Handjobs Just Foreplay?
We sometimes think of handjobs as a kind of consolation prize when there won’t be “real sex.” We might hear about this sex act in a dismissive way, such as “it’s only a handjob.” We might associate the handjob with hot teenage summers before lovers “go all the way.” We might hear something in relation to friends dating along the lines of “at least he got a handjob.”
It’s true that most of the time, people having sex use penetration and might think about that as “real sex,” with the handjob being relegated to foreplay. In our minds the handjob might mean “not going all the way.” However, giving handjobs have so many benefits!
Read: BDSM Foreplay: 20 Foreplay Ideas for Doms and Subs
5 Handjob Benefits
1. Dexterity Rules
The hands are incredibly sensual and sensitive, with powerful possibilities that simply can’t be replicated by the cock, the tongue, or any other body part. Fingers can perform strokes and touches that can’t happen any other way.
Read: 15 Tips to Make Her Come with Your Fingers
2. Discreet and Versatile
Giving a handjob has the potential to take place anywhere without too much rigmarole. That elusive mile-high club is really just a figment of the imagination except for a few agile people who didn’t mind stuffing themselves into the stinking confines of that tiny bathroom! The proverbial “back seat of the car” is also a piece of cake if it’s a handjob.
It’s not always easy in every situation to get everyone undressed, lubed up and condomed, and carry through to the finale. But a handjob can be an easy unzip and tug.
Read: Kinky Sex Ideas: 40 Ways to Have Kinkier Sex
3. Quickie Handjobs
When you want a quick release or have no choice because you only have ten minutes before the parents or kids come home, a handjob can save the day.
Read: Kinky Quickies for Couples
4. Non-Penetrative Sex Option
Penetration is not always on the table and not always preferrable. Having non-penetrative sex options means more sex, more often. There are times that being penetrated is not an option for any gender. Not everyone finds penetration pleasurable all the time and if a partner focuses on penetration or expects it, that can be a deterrent.
5. The Safest Sex
Giving handjobs and receiving them are incredibly safe when it comes to safe sex.
Read: Why Kinky Sex Is Safe Sex
How to Give the Best Handjob
Tease Him Beforhand
Put the idea of getting a handjob in his mind in advance. You might sext a filthy fantasy while he’s away at the office and get suggestive about what to expect later. You might fondle the goods a few times while he’s driving or getting ready for an appointment. Let him know what might be coming.
Read: Sexy Texts to Send Your Lover
Different Strokes
Use your whole hand and all your fingers, along with your imagination. Try different touches and strokes, and see how he responds.
Involve the Testicles
His balls are very sensitive, so don’t leave them out. Stroke, tug gently, squeeze gently, rub, handle, and fondle. Watch his body language and ask him to tell you what feels good and doesn’t—no two men are alike in the way they enjoy their balls handled.
Read: How to Suck Balls and Other Testicle Play Ideas
Show and Tell
Ask a new partner or familiar lover to show you how they jerk off.
This will usually be faster and more efficient than sex with a lover, but it will give you the exact technique he uses for the happy ending. Information is power!
Read: The Joys of Mutual Masturbation
Lube
Experiment with different kinds of lube for convenience and for fun. Explore their different textures and viscosities.
How Long Should a Handjob Last?
If you’re wondering how long a handjob should last, there is no right or wrong answer.
Giving a good handjob can take just a couple of minutes from start to finish. Some handjobs take much longer if no one is in a hurry. Older men or men on certain medications may take longer to come, or they may not.
9 Handjob Ideas He Won’t Forget
1. Surprise Him
When was the last time you just grabbed his cock and started working at it, taking things from start to finish when he’s least expecting it?
Great lovers know that great sex means prioritizing women’s pleasure and understanding her body. Women are more complex physiologically and psychologically and this is good advice and true.
But once in a while, focusing completely on his cock and his pleasure, will blow him away.
Read: Cock Worship: 5 Things You Should Know
2. Handjobs in Public
It’s easier to get away with a handjob in a semi-public place or the outdoors. Performing cunnilingus, for example, or an intense BDSM scene, is not as discreet!
Think about where to indulge an occasional surprise—behind the parked car on the way home, on the dock at the lake, on a side road during a summer drive, in the ocean while swimming.
Needless to say, use caution and be aware of laws, because there are so many cameras these days.
Read: Public BDSM Ideas for Getting Kinky in the Open
3. BDSM Handjobs
Giving a handjob can be part of rewarding a submissive lover, worshipping a dominant one, or teasing someone who is bound and restrained.
Read: Handjob Domination: 20 Femdom Handjob Ideas
4. Roleplay Handjobs
Role play lets us explore scenes, themes, and people in our fantasies and try them on for size, or to simply step outside of ourselves and experiment with something new. A role play can be anything, from a favorite porn sequence to a short story acted out.
Often, role play focuses on forbidden fantasies, such as teacher and student making love, or being abducted and forced. Role play can give us permission to become uninhibited. For example, role play might involve body swapping fetishes or gender reversals, or explore incestuous roles. Handjobs can be part of these fantasies.
5. Orgasm Denial
The amount of control a person has with their hands makes giving a handjob the perfect scenario for orgasm edging and denial. Take him to the limit over and over, and over again. Then pull back, denying or delaying his orgasm. This is great as is or while he is in bondage.
Read: Orgasm Denial: 8 Games and Ways to Play
6. Cock and Ball Torture
CBT is a natural extension of the hand job for those who like it rough. This BDSM fetish focuses a lot of attention on his cock and balls, and can involve crushing, caging, flogging, weights, slapping, pinching, and more extreme play such as piercing and clamping and stretching.
If he’s a masochist, he’ll love this as part of you giving a handjob. CBT can be dangerous. Make sure you know what you’re doing before you dive in.
Read: Cock and Ball Torture: 7 CBT Kinks and Methods
7. Sensation Play
On the gentler side of creative lovemaking is sensation play, which is all about exploring sensory experiences together, using touch, sound, taste, sight, and scents.
A handjob is a natural possibility here. While enjoying bubbles, glistening oils, strawberries, incense, feathers, silk, and ambient music, handle his major sensation organ!
Read: Advanced Sensation Play
8. Use Both Hands
Try giving a handjob with both hands. Alternate them. Use one for the balls. Use one for gentle slapping or pulling motion, and the other for the up and down. Use one on each side of his dick to knead. Use your imagination and two hands to explore his body and genitals.
Read: 6 Ways to Make Handjobs Kinky
9. Slippery when Wet
Lube is an amazing part of any handjob. Spice things up with a LOT of lube. This simple trick feels sensational and unexpected. Slather your hands and his cock with a ridiculous amount of lube and enjoy a very slippery handjob.
Read: WAM Fetish: Ideas for Wet and Messy Kink
What handjob tips and techniques drive your lover wild? Do tell!
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