Are you a master or an aspiring Dom/me looking to explore sexual punishments for your submissive?
If your BDSM sub requires discipline and behavior training, or craves sexual punishment, humiliation, and degradation, then you might already understand the excitement of BDSM punishment for both Dom and sub.
What Is Sexual Punishment?
Sexual punishment, or BDSM punishment, is a behavior modification tool for BDSM Doms or dommes to use on their submissive partners. It is about restoring rules, boundaries and discipline when a submissive has broken those rules or disobeyed an order.
Sexual punishment can be very exciting for a top who enjoys establishing and maintaining order and discipline, or a sadist who enjoys inflicting pain. It is often even more exciting and erotic for the submissive who receives the punishment. Many subs crave correction when they have disobeyed, and they are excited by painful sensations, a dominant in control, humiliation, degradation kink, or neglect.
There are a wide variety of sexual punishment tactics and techniques, ranging from playful spankings or sexual withholding to intense, extreme masochism, and everything in between. Whipping, choking, bondage, forced orgasm or ruined orgasms, predicament bondage, (consensually) forced sex, and many more forms of BDSM or fetish play are all potential sexual punishments. We will explore a wide range of BDSM punishment options later in this article.
Sexual punishments are not part of all kinky relationships, but it is usually part of BDSM kinds of fetishes. Relationships focused on power exchange, such as D/S (Dom and sub), M/S (master and servant), DDLG (Daddy Dom Little Girl), etc. usually use a range of BDSM punishments.
Read: Femdom Ideas to Dominate a Male Sub
12 Sexual BDSM Punishment Ideas
1. Spanking
Good old-fashioned spanking is a commonly used sexual punishment and a very popular, very flexible kink. Many vanilla folks enjoy light spankings and many hardcore fetishists love spanking so much that they have an arsenal of paddles, flogs, canes, and whips.
Read: BDSM Spanking: 6 Erotic Spanking Positions
2. Caning
Caning is a kind of spanking, with a cane. The Dom needs to be experienced when doling this kind of sexual punishment out.
Read: BDSM Caning for Beginners
3. Bondage
Another classic mainstay—a little restraint goes a long way, and bondage can also be elaborate. You can use a rope, a cord, handcuffs, a belt, leather restraints, a blindfold, latex, a scarf, a hood, mummification—the list is endless.
4. Wax Play
Hot wax dripping on bare skin is incredibly erotic, and it also hurts. Make sure you learn about hot wax safety.
Read: Wax Play Tips for Beginners
5. Nipple and Breast Torture
Pinching, clamping, slapping nipples and or breasts is a wonderful form of sexual punishment for many.
Read: Guide to Nipple and Breast Torture
6. Cock and Ball Torture
CBT is an exquisitely painful form of BDSM punishment.
Read: Cock and Ball Torture Techniques
7. Golden Showers
Water sports or golden showers are not a BDSM punishment for everyone—some fans simply love the sensation, scent or warmth of urine. But it can also be a form of humiliation and punishment.
Read: How to Enjoy the Golden Shower
8. Orgasm Denial
Denying a sub their orgasm can be a kinky form of BDSM punishment.
Read: Orgasm Denial Games to Play
9. Forced orgasm
Conversely, a forced orgasm reminds the sub who their body belongs to!
Read: Forced Orgasm Ideas
10. Human Furniture
A form of BDSM punishment is using a sub as human furniture. When a Dom is relaxing, a sub can act as a footrest, a table, or even a chair.
Read: Human Furniture Fetish Ideas
11. Fisting
Taking a fist vaginally or anally is a sexual punishment to remember.
Read: Fisting: What You Need to Know
12. Pegging
A male sub can be punished through anal penetration by his mistress, with her wearing a strap-on dildo.
Read: Strap0n Sex Tips for Beginners
BDSM Punishment Tips
Sexual punishments always require consent and must be negotiated in advance of punishment play. While casual encounters or new lovers may go over their needs, desires, and expectations before a date or sexual exchange, longer term BDSM relationships have usually established consent, rules, and boundaries in advance.
Sexual Punishment Consent
Certainly consent can change and vary along the way and constant communication in a relationship keeps that information up to date. But broadly speaking, most kinky folks have particular tastes and desires, intensity limits, and boundaries that apply throughout BDSM play or their relationship.
Read: Implied Consent or Expressed Consent?
Open communication and negotiation of boundaries and desires helps make it easy to navigate our roles and responsibilities in a BDSM relationship. You will want to be very clear what kind of sexual punishments are consensual.
Some BDSM couples or groups use a BDSM contract to outline consent and limits.
When to Punish Your Submissive
A Dom usually punishes their sub when the sub disobeys rules, oversteps, is careless, forgets something, acts out, neglects his duties, takes shortcuts, is lazy, or does something wrong.
If your sub is late, if your sub is messy, if your sub doesn’t follow instructions properly, if your sub misbehaves, if your sub performs poorly—these are all reasons to correct or modify their behavior through sexual punishment.
Read: Beginners’ Guide to BDSM Training
Safe Sexual Punishment
Sexual punishment has a range of intensities, depending on the taste of the sub and the Dom. While lighter kinks or light application can be fun and mild, many sexual punishments require training, practice, knowledge, and care.
For example, cock and ball torture may be an exquisite form of torture to certain submissives, but beyond a playful touch, the Dom has a great deal of responsibility to carry out punishment carefully and skillfully. BDSM punishments such as caning also require understanding of human anatomy so as not to damage bones and organs. Something like fisting also requires patience and skill to act out safely.
There are numerous community workshops, educational videos, and training sessions with skilled dominatrixes. If one is or both are new to a particular sexual punishment, learn together how to safely give and receive that punishment. Use common sense and keep an open spirit of learning throughout your kink journey so that you pick up skills in safety along the way.
Read: BDSM Education: How to Learn BDSM Online
BDSM Aftercare
Aftercare is an important part of a BDSM scene, including BDSM punishment scenes. This is a time of communication, intimacy, touching, expressing love or tenderness, tending to wounds and psychological needs, nourishment, hydration, hygiene, and more.
Following sexual punishment and other kinds of intense kink there can be sub drop or Dom drop phenomenon, as the body crashes following the kink high. BDSM aftercare can help reduce the intensity of sub drop and Dom drop.
Read: BDSM Aftercare: What’s It All About?
There are countless ideas for sexual punishment. Tell us your favorite BDSM punishments in the comments.
Tell us what you think