Foreplay is Essential Play
While incorporating the quickie into the sexual repertoire adds spontaneity to our schedules, slower sex gives a tantalizing gamut of anticipation, sensation, and release.
Foreplay is incredibly important for women, and BDSM foreplay is amazing! We can do it hot and heavy quickly, but our bodies and minds take time to warm up to our full potential.
Read: 4 Stages of Sexual Arousal
For women, intense arousal makes our vaginas ready for penetration. Without foreplay, many women miss out on the deepest pleasures of sex because it is long over by the time we are really ready. Some of us don’t know until we’re older that we’ve been missing our own boat for years.
Foreplay is also important for men. While young men can famously go from zero to rock hard in a second, enjoying a variety of sensations, anticipation, and stimulation for longer is a more complete experience.
Foreplay helps older men achieve maximum excitement, too, but it helps guys of all ages get creative, connect to their partners, enter into the psychological space of BDSM, and prioritize female pleasure.
Read: 15 Female Erogenous Zones to Drive Her Wild
In some ways, BDSM is all foreplay, or we could say rangeplay. BDSM is varied, creative, patient, and centered around psychology as well as full body experiences. The “old in and out” is not the center of BDSM sex and male orgasm is not the defining goal.
Some elements listed here as BDSM foreplay might be the centerpiece for some scenes. They might fit into aftercare instead. BDSM foreplay is about teasing, preparing the mind and the body, testing and honoring limits and boundaries.
With any kind of impact play or torture, you want to work that part of the body up and get it used to the stimulation. This is the idea for genital sex and it is also true for BDSM foreplay, allowing any body part to become ready for increased intensity of impact or stimulation.
Read: How to Find a Kinky Hookup Tonight
20 BDSM Foreplay Ideas
1. Bathing and Body Preparation
Bathing, showering, shaving, soaping, shampooing, drying, applying creams, perfuming, putting on makeup, these can all be done dom to sub or at a dom’s command, bringing attention and focus to the body. The rituals of preparation are an incredible aspect of BDSM foreplay.
Read: Sexy Baths with Your Lover
2. BDSM Erotica
BDSM foreplay can involve reading kinky erotica together or reading a “bedtime story” to your sub before the scene gets started.
Read: Writing Erotica for Your Lover
3. BDSM Imagery and Beauty
Enjoy the incredible beauty of BDSM by looking at visual art, Shibari rope bondage erotica, BDSM fashion photography, kinky music videos, and so on.
Read: 18 Music Videos and Songs about BDSM
4. Begging or Commanding Texts and Sexts
An easy way to start is way ahead of time, planting seeds of arousal over what’s to come in each other’s imagination. It can be incredibly erotic to get a sext while you’re in the classroom or waiting tables, reminding you of a particularly hot moment or making a promise about what’s going to happen later.
Read: Hotwife Texts: Messages to Send to your Cuckold or Hotwife
5. Blindfolding
Blindfolding can be a BDSM foreplay ritual, helping immerse you in the psychological space while priming your senses to receive pleasure and pain.
Read: Blindfold Sex: 10 Blindfold Ideas for BDSM and Beyond
6. Chastity Play
Using chastity devices like a BDSM chastity cock cage, or even just the command and instruction of the dom can create incredible anticipation as well as agony, edging, humiliation and arousal.
Read: Chastity Play: 4 Reasons It’s So Hot
7. Cock or Pussy Worship
Cock or pussy worship can be the main course, or it can be part of getting there in BDSM foreplay. Cock or pussy worship puts the attention exactly where it needs to be, but it takes its time. BDSM worship can include gazing, adoring, teasing, touching, stroking, kissing, and begging.
Read: Cock Worship: 5 Things You Should Know
8. Dancing and Performing
Striptease and exotic dancing is an age old form of sexual expression and intimacy, and it can also be part of BDSM foreplay.
Read: Surprise Striptease for My Lover
9. Dressing the Part
Taking care to get dressed and ready for BDSM is also part of BDSM foreplay. Whether you are dressing your sub or yourself, simply choosing the sensual materials—leather, lingerie, silk, PVC—and slowly putting them on is an act of beauty and preparation.
Read: Clothing Fetish: Fabric, Clothing, and Costume Kinks
10. Erotic Hypnosis or Sensual Meditation
You can get all hot and bothered and enter into the submissive or dominant mindset without even touching. Relax while listening to fetish hypnosis as part of BDSM foreplay. Just meditating or relaxing while listening to porn, sexy movies, erotic ASMR, or stoking up your own fantasies can go a long way.
Read: Hypno Fetish: 9 Types of Hypnosis Kinks
11. Gentle Impact Play
BDSM foreplay usually includes warming up for impact play. You want to prime the part of the body that will be receiving the impact, so start off with milder, teasing kinds of impact such as spanking playfully with the hand or lightly with the flogger or paddle.
Read: Gentle Femdom Guide: Painless Female Domination
12. Human Furniture
A sub can prepare mentally and physically for sexual service while acting as a footrest while a dom watches TV, or as a table balancing the domme’s champagne as she relaxes after work.
Read: Human Furniture Fetish: Ideas for Forniphiliacs
13. Public Humiliation
Foreplay need not be behind closed doors, even for D/s couples. Take your dynamic out and get a charge out of humiliating your submissive. You can always reward them back at home for being a good boy or girl.
Read: Humiliation Kink: 18 Examples of Erotic Embarrassment
14. Kinky Roleplay
Kinky roleplay is an endless theater of BDSM foreplay that helps show each other what you’re made of, what’s in your imagination, and much more. It can facilitate disinhibition to help you fully inhabit your dominant or submissive space or role, and can help you grow your imagination.
You can imagine different kinds of power exchange dynamics, such as cops and robbers, doctors and patients, teacher and student. You can play famous BDSM roles from porn or cinema. You can experiment with different kinds of BDSM kinks such as vampires.
Read: Sexual Roleplay: A Guide for Roleplay Beginners
15. Lingerie or Fetish Wear at Work
Part of kinky BDSM foreplay can involve ordering your sub to wear your favorite red panties or latex corset to work under their clothes. You might ask your sissy sub to wear a cock cage or a pair of your filthy underwear. You might command your lover to wear a breast harness under her business blazer.
Read: Kinky BDSM Lingerie Ideas
16. Nipple Torture
BDSM foreplay often includes nipple play or nipple torture, such as teasing, touching, pinching and pulling, licking, biting, sucking, clamping, flogging, and binding.
Read: His and Hers Guide to Nipple and Breast Torture
17. Sensation Play
Tease and torture each other with silk, satin, spikes, ice, feathers, warm water, massage tools, slippery lubricant, leather—you name it.
Read: Advanced Sensation Play
18. Sex Games
BDSM foreplay can involve games along the lines of Truth or Dare, Simon Says, or Mother May I, which add a bit of kinky fun while sharing fantasies, commands, and boundaries.
Read: 5 Domination and Submission Games to Play
19. Slow Bondage
Take your time binding your sub. Make bondage a ritual event. Slowly binding the desired parts of the body, taking your time to create knots, or turn the key creates incredible anticipation and allows both of you to enter the psychological space you are making.
Read: BDSM Predicament Bondage Basics and Ideas
20. Show Each Other Off
Anticipation and excitement can really build when you are out and about but know you’ll be getting down and dirty later. You can incorporate your time out as delicious foreplay in different ways.
Making out in the park is one way, or dirty dancing at a nightclub. Is it too bold to take your sub for a walk on their leash? Maybe. You can definitely go out for a drink or a walk and show off a little bit of your fetish wear.
While you may not want to wear a full leather bodysuit and hood to the mall, parading around in patent leather pumps, sexy chain mail, or a cute harness can raise a few eyebrows and your temperature.
Did we skip your favorite foreplay? What BDSM foreplay turns your crank?
Tell us what you think