You love it when she takes control. If you’re looking to find a dominatrix to take the reins, you might be wondering where to find her.
7 Ways to Find a Dominatrix
Femdoms are in high demand. A lot of submissive guys think dominant women are going to snap up anyone willing, but there aren’t many dominant women with empty dance cards.
Here are my tips to connect and meet with a local dominatrix.
1. Channel your competitive side.
Say what? Yes, you have to amp up your dominatrix dating game. You can’t just lie back with a “ready and willing” sign and expect dommes to break down your door to get to you.
Being “more willing” than the next guy assumes dominant women are lacking in willing options. They’re not.
You have to be attractive to a dominant woman, not just available. Highlight your interesting personality, your quirks, your attributes, your strengths, and your accomplishments—things that make you attractive to women.
A dominatrix doesn’t just want a checklist of sex things you want her to do to you. Every woman has a looooooong lineup of those.
Read: How to Please a Dominant Woman
2. Join dominatrix dating sites.
Online dating is convenient and effective for niche interests. There are lots of great BDSM and dominatrix dating sites.
But be aware that domme women looking for love and sex online are inundated with hundreds of messages and “applications.” It can be harder to meet a dominatrix online than connecting with other niches or kinks.
Nevertheless, here are our favorite sites for finding a local dominatrix:
BDSMDate.com
As the largest site for BDSM hookups, BDSM Date is the perfect starting point to find a dominatrix online.
This kinky dating site is home to millions of Dommes and submissives worldwide, and offers features you’ve never seen on mainstream dating sites. Members enjoy live video chat, video introductions, and groups based on different fetishes.
Most importantly, BDSMDate.com is a sex-positive community that welcomes all orientations, genders, and kinks. You can be open about your desires from day one and experience true dominatrix dating.
MeetDominatrix.com
Meet Dominatrix is another Dom/sub dating site. I place this one a distant second to BDSM Date, mainly because of it’s smaller member base and fewer features.
Still, some people like the simplicity of this dominatrix site. There’s no video and it’s trickier to search by kink, but with less to do online there is more focus on connecting and meeting up.
Although the community is connected via a love of dominant women, Doms and subs of any gender are welcome.
If you live in the US, MeetDominatrix.com is worth checking out. With a free membership you can view ALL their members, so sign up and take a look at who’s local before deciding.
3. Communicate on kinky social media.
Fetish social media sites like FetLife aren’t the same as dominatrix dating sites. They are about building community and sharing interests.
Don’t scroll through to find a femdom. Use the resources to meet people nearby, find events like munches, and learn about businesses in your area owned by fellow kinksters.
Support and get to know the people who share your lifestyle.
4. Get out to BDSM munches.
BDSM munches are social mixers for kinky people.
The goal is not to hook up with a hot dominatrix after the brunch, but to get to know other kinky people in your area. Think of a munch as a segue to a larger community that includes dominant women.
Read: 8 Tips to Find Your Kink Community
5. Consider cultivating your existing relationship.
There are lots of kinky women who are not experienced dommes. There are lots of women who want to explore their kinky side but haven’t met the right person to experiment with.
It can be really exciting to develop domination and submission together in a relationship, learning the ropes with each other.
Going to BDSM workshops and events and experimenting at home in bed with someone you like and trust might be the ultimate way to meet a domme. That way, you naturally grow tailor made for each other.
Read: Turn Your Girlfriend into a Dominatrix
6. Attend fetish parties and kink nights.
As with any community of like-minded people, socializing over a few drinks and music is a tried and true way of mingling and meeting people to date or hook up with.
It’s always fun to dance, express yourself through your wardrobe, and watch the world of kink around you.
Read: How to Find BDSM Events
Fetish nights are a lot of fun and sometimes lead to sex, but just as it is with meeting in bars for other communities—blues fans, hockey and chicken wing fans, electronica fans—you’re more likely to dabble or have a one night stand than find a lasting femdom relationship. If that’s what you’re looking for, fantastic.
7. Hire a professional dominatrix.
One way to avoid wasting a woman’s time—and yours—if you’re looking for specific kinky thrills and not for the intrigue of dating or a longer term relationship, is to hire a dominatrix pro.
Yes, it can be an expensive way to find a dominatrix. But the benefits are convenience, consent, and her femdom toys and gear. You can read a little about the professional dominatrix experience in this Huffpost piece.
Hiring a pro domme is also a great option if you’re new or still experimenting to find out what you want and don’t want. Exploring those things with a professional can be safe and comfortable for both of you.
Read: BDSM Play: The BIG List of BDSM Activities
Do you have experience with Dommes? Would you like to meet a dominatrix?
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