How to Find and Date Dominant Women

Do you dream of dating a dominant woman? Learn where to meet dominant women, what to look for, and what it’s really like.

Is it extremely difficult for a submissive man to find a dominant woman? Statistics float around stating such outlandish ratios of 100 submissive guys to every dominant woman. I’m sure that’s an exaggeration.

There’s plenty of dominant women to go around and many who want a submissive man in their lives. You just need to know how and where to find them and then how to keep them.

Here are some dominant women dating tips to help you find and keep these sexy creatures.

How to Find Dominant Women

One of the best way to make a date with a dominant woman is to court her online.

Fortunately there are niche dating sites that specialize in connecting dominant women and submissive men.

Dominant Women Dating Sites

On domination dating sites, you’ll find lots of dominant women who will gladly take charge and order you around. You are even encouraged to write about your kinky preferences in your profile. This saves everyone a lot of time and heartache.

Make sure you have photo evidence of you in your most submissive states. Have enough pictures to satisfy the tastes of different types of femdoms. And it goes without saying, a fully filled-out, detailed profile will tempt her to test your limits.

Be respectful and polite in your messages. Express how far you’re willing to go and describe the any types of BDSM play you’re into. Your profile this is the best way to find the right dominant woman that will compliment your submissive personality.

Dominant woman Sitting on Top of Her Lover

Join Online and Offline Communities

Every subsect of sexual culture has an online community. Join a site like FetLife and get in on the discussion.

This is a great way to broaden your circle of potential dates. When you do, avoid aggressive behaviour, negativity and trolling. Remember, you’re the submissive, and no one likes a curmudgeon. Eventually you’ll find local dominant women and make arrangements to meet.

Want to take your search for a dominant woman offline? Consider a BDSM munch. These are casual, non-sexual meet-ups where people into alternative lifestyles and dating dominant women can get together and chat in a low-pressure environment.

For more ideas on where to meet dominant women, read:

How and Where to Find a Domme

Domme lying in bed with her lover.

Dominant Women Traits to Look For

If sexually dominant women are your thing, then it’s time to start a list of your particular wants, needs, and desires. Here are a few basic traits that every Domme should possess for a mutually satisfying relationship with her submissive.

Trust and Honesty

Every femdom relationship, kink or otherwise must be based in a foundation of trust, but especially in BDSM where being able to trust someone completely is necessary in order to surrender oneself. Don’t expect this to happen overnight; trust takes time to build.

A dominant woman should be open and honest about her experience, her preferences, and her desires. If there is no honesty, there can’t be trust.


The need for confidence goes without saying. I mean, who wants a wishy-washy Domme who’s unsure of what she’s doing?

Most sexually experienced women tend to be dominant in the bedroom because they know what they’re doing and know what they like. Cheers to that!

Dome with Flogger in Her Teeth


Sexual experience, yes, but you also want a woman who has experience being  in charge of submissive partners. This is best if you’re new to sexual submission and want to know you’re in capable hands.


Some Dom/sub partners are so in tune with one another there is little need for verbal communication. But when you’re just starting out, you’ll want a woman who can express herself well in terms of her role, desires, and also with educating you about BDSM.

4 Dominant Woman Dating Tips

Do you wonder what dominant woman dating is really like? Here what you can expect, and how to make dating a dominant girlfriend an amazing experience.

1. It’s Hot to Relinquish Control

Are you someone who’s routinely in charge, or tasked with keeping it together at all times? If so, giving up control could be a deeply pleasurable experience.

Seek out a dominant woman who would be more than happy to role play that scenario with you. Choose someone who understands your particular needs, then have a conversation about limits. Create an online dating profile that outlines your desires, then search the site for a woman who you feel would suit your needs.

Read: Giving up Control: How to Let Go During Sex

Dominant woman straddling man on bed.

2. Being the Receiver Has its Perks

I know just how incredible it feels to be fucked by someone who is focused on my needs and knows just how to make me feel special. Talking to my guy friends, it’s clear that some men have never really experienced this kind of attention.

Foreplay and sex are often focused on the woman’s pleasure, and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, it can leave some guys wanting more. Go get yours! Find a woman who knows how to wield her strap-on like a pro, then get on all fours and enjoy.

Read: Meet Women Who Like Pegging Men

3. Women are Powerful—Embrace It

Never mind what you might have learned about gender roles and sexual expectations—let yourself be put in your place, and love every second of it.

I’ve mentioned it in other posts, but it bears repeating: there’s something super sexy about turning power dynamics on their head and saying fuck you to the patriarchy. It’s a need that lots of guys share, particularly those who long to be cuckolded.

Join the growing number of men who are not ashamed to admit their desire of being taken by a dominant woman. There’s greater acceptance for that kind of thing now with more and more men engaging in female-led relationships (FLR lifestyle) so stand up and be proud!

Read: Female Led Relationships Explained

Woman's Hands Wrapped around Man's Chest

4. You Deserve It

Whether you’re a bad boy in need of punishment, or a good guy who’s earned the right feel spoiled and cared for, you deserve the attention of a dominant woman. Why deny yourself? I’m sure there’s a woman out there who wants nothing more than to dominate you in the exact way you need.

The key to finding her is to know what you want, then to not be shy about asking for it. Do some research into the specific kind of role plays and relationship you’re craving. Learn the language and the etiquette so that when you do find your ideal partner, you can hit the ground running.

Read: 10 Ways to Please a Dominant Woman

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