What type of BDSM submissive are you?
Dominance and submission are a classic element of kink. The age old dance of power fuels most sexual encounters and relationships, not just kinky ones.
Acknowledging the power exchange element of sexual relationships usually means we find ourselves on one side or another of sexual dominance and submission.
Read: 15 Types of BDSM Relationships
What Is a BDSM Submissive?
According to Oxford Languages online, the definition of “submit” is to “accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.”
In a BDSM context, a BDSM sub consensually accepts the domination of their partner, inside their sexual relationship or in their relationship as a whole.
While some partners consensually submit to fulfill their lovers’ need for dominance, most BDSM subs are sexually submissive by nature. They experience sexual, emotional and psychological arousal, pleasure, and fulfillment from BDSM submission.
Read: Why BDSM Submission is So Satisfying
The visual image that often comes to mind when we think about what it means to be a BDSM submissive is someone dressed to please in latex or other fetish wear and various bondage accoutrements like a collar or ankle restraints. Definitely a hot visual, but this is really just one kind of BDSM sub.
There are a wide variety of expressions of BDSM submission and many different kinds of BDSM submissives. Here are a few.
Read: How to Be a Good Submissive for a Dom
16 Types of BDSM Submissives
1. Adult Baby
ABDL is Adult Baby Diaper Lover, a fetish where the emotional and sexual gratification comes from regressive age play. The adult baby kind of BDSM sub is in the ultimate helpless or submissive state, and requires a Daddy Dom, Mommy Domme or other adult caregiver to meet their most basic needs.
Adult babies may find it pleasurable and comforting to snuggle, suck on a pacifier, be bottle fed, or have diapers changed. Some experience their role play helplessness or dependency as humiliating and frustrating, something that excites them sexually as a BDSM sub.
Read: ABDL 101: Types of Adult Babies and How They Play
2. Bedroom Submissive
A bedroom BDSM submissive doesn’t live and breathe the fetish life. They enjoy being dominated in bed, but are not submissive to that partner or in general outside of a sexual context. They may enjoy mild fetish play or hardcore kink, but their sexual kick is not part of their lifestyle or daily relationship style.
Many bedroom submissives simply get off on being submissive in bed, but don’t really identify as a BDSM submissive. They may not be “into” BDSM at all, but view submission as natural to their expression. The bedroom submissive is not one specific gender, but common to all genders.
Read: How to Embrace Your Submissive Side
3. Brat
The BDSM brat is a kind of BDSM submissive who is playful, provocative, and well, bratty. They love attention and affection and have something of a trickster nature. The brat archetype is a rebel and they need a high energy dominant who offers loving, nurturing control but who is not easily manipulated.
Read: Funishment Ideas for BDSM Subs, Brats, and Littles
4. Cuckold/Cuckquean
The historical cuckold is the male whose female partner is running around with other men because he is not able to satisfy her sexually. In a kink context, the cuckold is a type of submissive who is sexually excited by the humiliation of his wife or partner needing other men because he is not enough for her.
Nearly 100% of honest men find the idea of their female lover with another male incredible exciting. They are not necessarily a BDSM sub. The cuckold fetish is specific to his monogamy and her helping herself to virile male bulls whenever she wants. The sexual humiliation he experiences is part of his pleasure.
The cuckquean is the female version of the cuckold. Cuckolding is a very common fantasy, desire and fetish. Some women are cuckqueans but it is not as popular as the other way around.
Read: 15 Types of Cuckolds and Their Fantasies
5. Domestic Submissive
The domestic submissive is a kind of BDSM sub who wants to perform domestic tasks for their dominant. Essentially, this BDSM submissive cooks and cleans.
The convenience and comfort of their dominant is their priority. The domestic submissive may never be sexually involved with their dom. Their preferred tasks are sweeping, laundry, dishes, and washing the floor.
6. Finsub
The finsub is a BDSM submissive who gets off on financial submission. Sometimes they are called human ATMs or pay pigs.
For some finsubs, it goes beyond just giving sugar to a beautiful lover or spoiling them. Many finsubs never meet their domme at all, and they may give their whole paycheque over, so that their entire labor life is actually under domination.
Read: Findoms and Financial Domination Relationships
7. Little
A Little is a BDSM sub who enjoys regressive age play to childhood. They find it safe and comforting to give up their adult stresses and experience kids’ clothing, cartoons, toys, and foods. The little needs affectionate caregiving, discipline, and guidance.
Read: Littles and Little Space: An Introduction
8. Masochist / Pain Slut
A masochist is a classic BDSM submissive who gets off on pain rather than or in addition to bondage. A pain slut craves pain and experiences it as pleasure.
Some masochists or pain sluts find pain sexually stimulating or pleasurable, and some don’t experience sexual excitement but rather psychologically gratifying. Most experience both.
Read: Sadomasochism: Sadism and Masochism in BDSM
9. Rope Bunny
There are various rope arts in BDSM, for those into bondage and often, driven aesthetically and by ritual. Rope arts can be elaborate, time consuming, ritualistic, and extremely beautiful. The rope bunny is the BDSM submissive and the rope artist is the one who does the tying.
Read: What Is a Rope Bunny and How Can You Meet One?
10. Service Submissive
A service submissive is fulfilled by being of service. This type of BDSM submissive can be very similar to the domestic submissive, but the tasks of service are much more broad. They may help with administrative work, child care, grooming, meal planning, car repair, pet care, and more.
Read: Submissive Rules and Tasks for Subs
11. Sissy
The sissy BDSM submissive is a male who craves female domination or femdom. He loves being humiliated and degraded, specifically being made into a sissy or little girl. Being dressed as a little girl and treated like one is how this fetish plays out.
Read: Forced Feminization and Sissification Kinks
12. Slave
The slave is the classic BDSM sub. They are sexually and otherwise subservient to their master’s wants.
Read: Slave Training Ideas: How to Train Your BDSM Slave
13. Submissive in Training
A submissive in training is a BDSM sub who is being physically and mentally conditioned for submission, learning the skills, postures, and language of BDSM submission.
Read: BDSM Training: A Guide for Beginners
14. Switch
The switch can take on the BDSM submissive role or the BDSM dominant role. They may play both but have a personal preference for one or the other, or they may enjoy both roles equally.
Read: Switching from Dominant to Submissive
15. Puppy / Kitten
Puppy play and kitten play are both anthropomorphic BDSM play. The puppy comes with a muzzle, ears, dog feet, and a leash. The kitten has whiskers, a tail, fuzzy ears, and maybe a collar.
Both puppies and kittens need a loving master to train them and play with them. This type of BDSM submissive is playful and can be gentle and fun cosplay or it can be more intense, for example, using a litter box or newspaper and eating out of dishes on the floor. It all depends whether humiliation is part of the allure.
Read: Kitten Play: 14 Ideas for Cats and Kittens in BDSM
16. Pony
The pony in pony play is a kind of BDSM sub who needs to be “broken in.” Taming a wild horse is hard work. Not everyone into pony play is into dominance and submission, however. For many people, the pony play fetish is about the tack—beautiful riding outfits, leather saddles, jodhpurs, boots, and other accessories.
Read: Confessions of a Kinky Pony Play Girl
What kind of sub are you or in a relationship with? Please share!
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