It stands to reason that a BDSM dom, BDSM domme, or BDSM dominant is an important part of BDSM, because the inner initials of the acronym stand for dominance and submission.
Sexual domination of a submissive partner is a major turn on for many kinky people, and is a way of identifying in and outside of the boudoir for many in the BDSM lifestyle.
Many other people are turned on by being dominated, or by being sexually submissive to a BDSM dom. This is sometimes referred to as a power exchange relationship.
Read: BDSM and Total Power Exchange Relationships
What Is a Dom in BDSM?
A BDSM dom is someone who is sexually dominant. Domination and submission are integral parts of kink and fetish play, and power and sexual power are at the heart of this dance.
The “dom” in BDSM dom is just short for “dominant” and is just as often shown as “domme” (BDSM domme). A BDSM dom can be male, female, nonbinary, or transgender—any lover who takes the dominant role in BDSM.
Some BDSM doms or BDSM dommes are into sadism and masochism, and some aren’t. Most are into some form or expression of bondage and discipline.
Read: BDSM Roles: 33 Dominant and Submissive Roles
16 Types of BDSM Dominants
1. Master / Mistress
BDSM doms or BDSM dommes inside a total power exchange (TPE) relationship are usually called Master or Mistress and the submissive is sometimes called a slave.
Read: Slave Training Ideas: How to Train Your BDSM Slave
TPE refers to a relationship that is total, in other words, the BDSM dom is in full authority or control of the submissive in all aspects of life, not just when it comes to sex.
When a BDSM dom is part of a TPE relationship, they have control or power over their submissive’s entire world—their thoughts, actions, decisions, and body. Usually this person or role is called Master or Mistress.
Read: How to Find a BDSM Slave or Master
2. Pleasure Dom
A pleasure dom is someone who gets off on delivering intense pleasure to their partner and who enjoys controlling them that way. This BDSM dom doesn’t usually get off on the S&M part of the acronym, and the sub does not enjoy pain either.
Many BDSM relationships are about bondage and discipline without being about sadomasochism or pain. A pleasure dom can take charge of sex and of a relationship by “torturing” with pleasure.
Read: Pleasure Dom Basics: 10 Ideas for Pleasure Domination
3. Service Top
The service top enjoys “doing things to” their submissive that the submissive gets off on or enjoys, finding service to the submissive’s pleasure more exciting than their own power or agenda.
Most professional doms are acting as service tops because they are being paid for particular activities or kinks.
Read: Should You Hire a Sex Worker?
Inside the fetish world, service tops are sometimes viewed as not being “real” BDSM doms. With power play being central to BDSM, a service top can be seen as not really being very dominant.
The reality, however, is that BDSM is a spectrum, and everyone has their unique turn ons and turn offs. Many argue that vanilla sex is naturally a dance of dominance and submission, while others see domination and submission in the non-kink world as non-consensual misogyny.
Of course, it is not always the male who dominates in vanilla relationships, as anyone who understands the words “pussy whipped” knows.
A service top may not fit into BDSM domination in the same way as another and may not want to employ the name, either, but aims to please. Someone who is not dominant but is willing to indulge their partner’s needs for submission may also fit here.
Read: How to Be a Good Dom (or Domme) for Your Sub
4. Brat Tamer
The brat and brat tamer identity or kink is all about having a rebellious and high-maintenance submissive. The brat tamer is a BDSM dom who knows their brat needs guidance, discipline, flexibility, attention, and nurture.
Read: Brat Tamer Tips: How to Tame Your BDSM Brat
5. Rigger or Rope Dom
The rope artist or rigger is a BDSM dom who is skilled with rope as well as being a top. Bondage is a major aspect of BDSM, and there are numerous rope arts.
The rope dom is a BDSM dom who employs rope bondage to subdue their sub. Both parties usually find bondage uniquely fulfilling and arousing, and enjoy the ritualistic and ceremonial and aesthetic aspects of the rope arts.
Read: BDSM Rigger Tips: Getting Started with Rigger Kink
6. Leather Dom
A leather dom is a BDSM dom who has a leather fetish or who wears leather. Leather is one of the backbones of kink culture and BDSM history, and the fabric and aesthetic of leather are a huge turn on for many.
A leather dom may wear leather pants, leather harnesses, leather corsets, leather hats, leather boots, and use leather whips and restraints on their submissive.
Read: A Brief History of the Leather Kink
7. Prodom
A prodom or prodomme is simply a BDSM dom who is a professional, or someone who acts as a BDSM dominant for work.
Read: How to Find a Dominatrix Near You
8. Primal Dom
The primal kink is all about nature, natural emotions, and primal life, taking the veneer of civilization and modernity out of sex and replacing it with raw and rough play, hunting and predatorial relationships, and often eschewing contemporary paraphernalia and fashions as artificial.
A primal dom is simply the dominant in a primal kink relationship. A primal dom can be male or female. While the male in “cave man” views may seem like the only possible dom, primal kink folks take the position that the female actually holds much if not all the power in sex in nature and the animal kingdom.
The male may be dominant when it comes to strength but often has to jump through elaborate hoops to receive sexual satisfaction.
Read: Primal Play: 8 Ideas for Primal Sex
9. Sadist
A sadist is a BDSM dom who gets off on inflicting pain to those submissives who crave it.
Read: Sadomasochism: Sadism and Masochism in BDSM
10. Mommy and Daddy Doms
Mommy and daddy doms are BDSM doms in an adult baby diaper lover (ABDL) relationship or mommy dom little boy (MDLB) or daddy dom little girl (DDLG) relationship.
These BDSM doms are nurturing, caring, loving, and responsible. The submissive of a mommy or daddy dom needs affection, care, help, safety, and decision making from their BDSM dom.
Read: 11 Age Play Fetishes and Kinks
11. Financial Dominant
In findom or financial domination, the BDSM dom is called the financial dominant, or the findom. The findom demands money from their submissive, usually in the plural. Most often, they are worshipped with money simply for existing. A fin-dom submissive is sometimes called a paypig or a human ATM.
They may give their entire paycheck over. Often, the sub and dom have not even met in person. The paypig may want to operate like an actual slave, with all of his earnings going towards the desires of his findom. More often than not, findom lovers get off on erotic humiliation and degradation and want to spoil their findom like a queen.
Read: Findoms and Financial Domination Relationships
12. Feeder
A feeder is a unique kind of BDSM dom who may not even be into BDSM or kink, but whose relationship is nonetheless a kind of extreme domination and submission. A feeder gets off on feeding a BBW person, watching them eat, thinking about them eating, preparing their food, and supplying their food.
Because the feedee can be very obese from this practice, they may require help in every area of their life from their BDSM dom, from mobility to bathing to using the bathroom to eating.
Read: Feederism: Feeding and Gaining Fetish Explained
13. Owner (Pet Play)
In pet play, the BDSM dom of a kitten or puppy is usually called an owner. Many kink lovers who enjoy puppy play or kitten play also enjoy traditional BDSM play, but many don’t identify with those roles or with bondage or sadism, for example. But there is a natural caregiving and responsibility as well as reciprocal obedience in pet-owner relationships.
Read: Kitten Play: 14 Ideas for Cats and Kittens in BDSM
14. Femdom
Femdom is short for female domination. A BDSM domme or dominatrix are both female dominants or femdoms, but femdom is a relatively recent word that usually denotes extreme power beyond classic kink like leather and spanking.
Femdoms and sissy boys are often driven by humiliation and degradation, specifically, sissification. Pegging and dressing up the sub in women’s clothing are frequently part of femdom.
Read: All About Femdom: 7 Types of Female Domination
15. Dominatrix
The word dominatrix isn’t usually used by a BDSM dom unless they are a professional. This word has the connotation of head-to-toe black latex, sky-high stilettos, severe hair and makeup, a black whip—a very classic BDSM aesthetic.
Read: Dominatrix Guide: How to Become a Dominatrix
16. Gentle Dom
A gentle domme is a BDSM dominant who prefers to nurture and guide rather than punish and provoke pain. They use praise, affection, encouragement and touch to assert their authority over their submissive.
Read: Gentle Femdom Guide: Painless Female Domination
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